tomorrow i could wake up and say “i am a totally different person” and assume a new sense of self and be that person. you should be aware of the power in that. it is the only real thing to me right now.
the idea of getting to know someone and falling in love with them baffles me. anyone knowing me, truly understanding me and leaving me feeling not alone, is impossible i think. looking too deeply into personal relationships makes everything feel fake. how do you define someone’s truth? how do you know anything is genuine? i could be playing a part, if you were to meet me. it could all be untrue, me pretending to be someone i admire, someone i hate. everything could be staged right down to emotions. is there even truth and reality in anything “felt”?
The night isn’t dark; the world is dark.
Stay with me a little longer.
Your hands on the back of the chair—-
that’s what I’ll remember.
Louise Glück, from “Departure,” Meadowlands (HarperCollins, 1996)